Do you have a motto for your life? I do, and I’m not ashamed to admit it came from a bumper sticker.
Last Fall I was driving along and, like many people at the time, found myself preoccupied with the presidential election. When I came to a stop light, there was my motto on the bumper of the car in front of me!
“Never believe everything you think.”
Playful uses of words always get my attention but this struck me as more than just a clever turn of phrase. It felt like a guiding principle and, as it pertains to this blog series, a great reminder to look outside myself as I pursue a growth mindset.
Aside from its wit, I love this motto is because I have challenged the status quo and embraced independent thinking for as long as I can remember. As a young boy in Sunday School at temple, I wondered aloud why we of Jewish faith were called the “chosen people”. If I were Buddhist, would I still believe that?
As a student at UC Berkeley, asking “Why?” was practically a prerequisite for admission into the school. And in my career, I am still in a state of constant inquiry since coaching is all about the art of asking questions.
Behavior change is a common coaching term but it’s one I can’t stand. Instead, I prefer “behavior acquisition”. Why (there I go again)? Because, like growth mindset, acquisition implies a consistent state of moving forward, of broadening and bettering yourself as you learn from experiences, both yours and others’. 18-wheel big rigs offer an unlikely, but clear analogy.
When long haul truckers first learn to drive these machines, they are taught to focus on five to seven basic gears to get them down the road under normal conditions. Once fluent, then they drive a snowy mountain pass and learn the unique gears that are needed to get up and down the hill.
In life, you must know how to use multiple gear, even if you rarely use them, because at some point you’ll be faced with stormy road conditions. This is not about giving up the foundational set of gears, who you are at your core. It’s about acquiring more tools so you can drive with greater facility and success.
Learning from others is key to nurturing a growth mindset and the formula is really very simple: Ask questions, then be quiet and listen to their answers. I believe you’ll find it both humbling and illuminating to hear what they know and what their expertise is.
Receive those perspectives as gifts, then access all available gears as you use insight from others to challenge your inner voice. Because the moment you stop believing everything you think is the moment you truly start to grow.
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