American adults spend more of their waking hours working than participating in any other activity. Given that, it seems we would want to do whatever we can to get some enjoyment out of all that time. But for a lot of people, work is viewed as a soul-sucking necessity. I have coached many people with this outlook, and I also lived with one.
My father was not a very happy man in his career. He had things that brought him joy and he was a wonderful father but I never saw him connecting work and pleasure. You might imagine him toiling away in a dark office or doing backbreaking physical labor but you’d be wrong.
You see, my father was a chemist whose job was to create new flavors for Tootsie Roll. That’s right, he made candy for a living. My sister and I loved when he “brought work home with him” so we could be his unofficial taste testers. As a child, I didn’t see what could be better than going to work every day, breathing in the sweet smell of chocolate. But when I voiced that thought to my father, he looked me in the eye and said, “Alan, work isn’t supposed to be fun.”
You may be thinking, “If a candy maker can’t be happy in his job there’s no hope for the rest of us.” But, to a great extent, how we view our circumstances is influenced by the conversations we have with ourselves. Using some simple growth mindset terminology tweaks, we can change those conversations and move into a more positive place.
Call it an opportunity, not a challenge.
When opportunity knocks most people answer. Challenges, not so much. But the truth is, there’s a pretty fine line between the two. Step over that line and see what happens.
Call it learning, not failing.
Contrary to motivational posters, failure is always an option. The good news is that learning comes with every mistake. What would happen if you welcomed a growth mindset and viewed your misstep as a teaching moment instead of an embarrassment?
Focus on the process, not the result.
If growth mindset is about learning along the journey, the outcome should matter less. Instead of being stressed about whether the big presentation will land the new client, take pride in taking the chance.
Make friends with the word “yet.”
When Dr. Dweck would give school children a math problem beyond their grade level, most would say, “I don’t know how to do this.” She encouraged them to instead say, “I don’t know how to do this yet.” Isn’t it amazing how three little letters can completely change a negative statement?
Use the phrase, ”At the same time…”
One of the best ways to banish uncertainty is to speak it. The growth mindset caveat is to follow it up with “At the same time…”. For example, “I’m not sure the team is going to want to implement my idea. At the same time, I think it will make our project run more smoothly.”
Say “I wonder” instead of “I fear.”
Fear festers in the dark corners of our minds. Instead of letting your fears continue to dwell there, let them play themselves out. “I wonder what my life would be like if I applied for that new, challenging position.” Adopting a sense of wonder shines a light on fear and diminishes it in the process.
Let me say that these tips are not meant to be Pollyanna platitudes. Some work situations are truly terrible and if you are in this place I encourage you to find an organization that values your time and talents. But if what you are experiencing is the day to day doldrums, try out these mindset shifts and see how they can bring joy to your job.
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