Balance Points from the Team

What Do You Need From Your Boss?

05.01.18

When leaders reach a certain level, they often feel that they can no longer reach out for help. In my coaching work with both assimilation leaders and high performing leaders moving to the next level I have discovered a best practice I think is extremely valuable in breaking down this self-imposed barrier. It starts with asking a very simple question;

“What do I want or need from my boss?”

This is the flip side of our last blog, where I challenged you to ask your boss what he or she needs from you. What I find is that many people have neverasked themselves what they need from their boss, or if they have they have not taken the time to give it serious reflection. Here’s how doing just that played out for one of my clients:

In working with Bryan about 75 days into his new role as a senior vice president, I asked what he needed from Phil, his boss. He gave me a lot of the expected pat answers and when he finished I asked, “What else do you need?” Bryan thought for a moment and said, “I want to know when Phil is disappointed in me.”

This was incredibly powerful because it went to Bryan’s values and motivations around doing great work and wanting to know when he was succeeding and when he wasn’t. It also showed a lot of vulnerability. Leaders aren’t prone to discussing their failures but Bryan, in asking the question, was making the assumption that at some point he was going to do something that would displease his boss.

I was in the room when Bryan asked Phil this question. Phil, looking rather surprised, leaned back in his chair and said no one had ever asked him that before. He thoughtfully answered the question and said, “No,” when Bryan asked if Phil had been disappointed in him so far. In that moment, Bryan grew and expanded as a leader, and his rapport with Phil was elevated as well.

Here is my next challenge toyou. Take a moment and write down three things you need from your boss. Be thoughtful about this exercise and be honest with yourself. Maybe you need your boss to help you do more or less of something, or maybe you need guidance around a particular aspect of your new position. Clearly articulate your needs and how having them met will help you grow as a leader. Then, take the next step and have a courageous conversation with your boss.

Ready? Go.

Click here to learn more about Gary Halverson.

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